


Hold My Life

by bestliars



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Gen, Houston Aeros, Minnesota, Minnesota Wild, Twin Cities, Weather
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-14
Updated: 2013-02-14
Packaged: 2017-11-29 05:44:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/683510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestliars/pseuds/bestliars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Weather, lies, and positive thinking in the Twin Cities.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold My Life

**Author's Note:**

> Almost everything I write about the Wild turns into being my feelings about the Twin Cities and Minnesota weather. This is set Monday January 29th, because the weather around me walking to the bus that morning made a big impression, and then I wrote this.  
> Thanks to Stellarer for beta magic, and to everyone who gave feedback on the first draft.  
> (also: there is now a Jared Spurgeon tag on AO3. I am so happy with my life choices.)  
> title is from the Replacements, because of course, MPLS = <3s

Marco is happy to leave Saint Louis. Coming back from an injury is good, and playing in the NHL is good, but the specifics of the game leave something to be desired. 

He sits next to the Spurge on the plane. Private planes and hearing stories about Jared’s kid, this is his life again. It’s a good life. He remembers enjoying it.

Jared says, “That could have gone better,” when he sits down, but after that they don’t talk about the game. They are leaving it in Missouri.

When they land in Minnesota there is snow everywhere. It’s a contrast from the last time Marco had been in the cities, less than a week previously. Then winter had been visible in the dirty ice clinging to the gutters, not the wonderland display greeting them.

The snow makes the whole world blindingly bright. It hurts to look too closely, reflected light reducing the world to white covered shapes on the white ground, backed by the grey sky.

Marco left his sunglasses on the dash of his car. He regrets this. His car is in Texas. This could be a problem.

Jared seems to realize this problem at the same time and says, “I can give you a ride.”

This is a kind gesture. Marco is glad to have a friend who cares. He’s still hesitant about taking Jared up on his offer. “You have a bone bruise on your foot, the same foot that you need to work the brake.”

Standing outside and talking seems like it should be a terrible idea, but it looks colder than it is. The temperature is hovering just around freezing. The snow may make the city appear arctic, but it’s actually quite pleasant out. Marco can foresee the snow turning into slush, creating puddles of cold water that will try to seep into his shoes, before freezing overnight to cover the sidewalk with a layer of ice. This is one part of the future Marco is emphatically not looking forward to.

“The roads are going to be bad and you have an injured foot slowing your reflexes. This isn’t a good combination.”

Jared brushes the snow off of his windshield. Marco should help, but he doesn't have any gloves.

“It isn’t that bad,” Jared says. “I can drive.”

He probably can. He’s responsible and good at assessing situations, but why risk it.

“I can always get a ride from someone else.”

Marco has his own motivations for framing this situation like this. He _does_ worry, and he does want to look after his friend, but he also doesn’t want to go through the day on his own.

Jared catches on to this manipulation quick enough, but doesn’t seem to mind. “Fine, you can drive my car.”

“That sounds great.” Jared won’t drive into any buildings this way. Marco has heard of that happening particularly on slick days before. And Marco won’t wind up at the hotel this way. They can hang out until practice. He’ll get to hold off on confronting the logistics of settling back into the cities until later.

Procrastination isn’t a bad thing as long as it doesn’t interfere with playing hockey. For now his only real concern is the drive. That doesn’t mean he isn’t worrying about half a dozen other things.

This is the first winter driving Marco has faced this year. It isn’t exactly his idea of a good time, but he manages. While has to drive through the snow, Jared gets to talk about it.

“This could be a sign if we want it to be,” Jared says. “The snow is covering up the past, making the winter fresh again, revitalizing the season.”

It’s a strong analogy, but Marco doesn’t think they’re going to start playing better hockey just because of some accumulation.

“All this snow is like a blank page,” Jared says. “It will be what we make of it. It’s still early. We can write the story we want to tell.”

Marco says, “We are going to give 110%.”

He doesn’t take his eyes of the road but he’s positive Jared is glaring. Even if Marco was looking it wouldn’t be an effective deterrent. Jared’s glare isn’t particularly threatening.

“That’s a terrible thing to say, but yes, that is what we are going to do. We will give 110%.”

Hockey player math isn’t like regular people math. It’s +/-, and Corsi, what is Corsi, what is POD, it doesn’t stand for anything. Hockey players are generous with their percentages, promising to give more than they possibly can.

“You can give 110%,” Marco says, “I am going to give 286%.”

“Don’t be a brat,” Jared says, which is good advice Marco doesn’t plan to follow. Jared’s next comments are more helpful. “Tomorrow you’re going to give it your all. Play hard and smart and physical. Play a whole game. You’re going to beat Columbus tomorrow.”

“You mean _we’re_ going to beat Columbus tomorrow,” Marco says, correcting his teammate.

“Yeah. But if I can’t play you’ll still be fine.”

Yeah, he can be fine. They probably wouldn’t be playing together anyway. Marco doesn’t need anyone holding his hand out there. He’ll be fine. “Besides, it’s only Columbus,” Marco says.

“Exactly. And then Wednesday it’s Chicago.”

Marco groans.

“They aren’t going to win forever,” Jared says. He seems to think this is a topic that deserves a pep talk. Marco can’t do anything but sit back and listen. “They can’t go through the season 48-0. That’s statistically improbable. They’re going to get beaten eventually. It might as well be by us. This is a thing that can happen. There’s no reason why we can’t win.”

Technically, these are all true statements.

“I wonder how much of our life is spent lying to ourselves,” Marco says.

This statement hangs in the air as he turns down another snow coated road. He should stay off the side streets, they haven’t been plowed properly yet, but he likes this shortcut. He does wonder about their lying sometimes, not often, but sometimes, when it seems like the lies matter more than the truths. They lie to themselves, and the media, and each other, and sometimes it gets tiring.

“There’s no reason why we can’t win against Chicago,” Jared says. His confidence is unwavering.

Jared is really good at the whole buying into positive thinking thing. Marco isn’t bad exactly, he plays along, but Jared’s got him beat. Jared’s thoughts are probably all positive. Maybe that’s because he isn’t very tall. That’s an uncharitable thought. Marco should work on being a better friend, and on thinking more positively.

“There’s no reason why we can’t win against Chicago,” Marco says. The sentence feels slippery as it works its way out of his mouth.

#

Heading into the arena Marco stops to takes a pictures of tree branches reaching towards the ground, weighed down by the snow. He sends it to Matt with the caption, “I don’t miss Houston yet.”

That’s probably true.

There’s a fog over the city that doesn’t lift as the day wears on. The sun never finds the strength to burn off the mist. It gives the cities an eerie ambiance.

Practice is hard which makes the rest of the day seem easy even when it isn’t. Marco needs to find or buy snow boots. They need to win against Columbus. The game against Chicago needs to not be an embarrassment.

Maybe he should have higher expectations. They can win against Chicago. This is a thing that can happen. Anything _can _happen.__

__#_ _

__Kass has plans for him and Brodin later, but there’s time to kill after practice. He wants to take a moment to get his feel for the cities back. He steals Jared’s hat to brave the winter weather. He just showered, and he doesn’t want hair to freeze._ _

__He crosses the street away from the arena to look at the river from the Science Museum’s observation deck. There are a few roads and the museum’s dead maze between him and the water, but it’s still a nice view. The Mississippi doesn’t freeze over, but there’s ice on the edges. It looks cold, very cold, a frigid artery running through the cities._ _

__He turns to walk through downtown Saint Paul. The front office is as ostentatious as ever, the library grand and imposing._ _

__Rice Park is empty. The central fountain that bubbles in warmer months is turned off, leaving behind an basin of snow-filled concrete. He likes the park better at other times of the year, but it’s still nice. It’s lovely in the summer. He remembers coming here with Matt years ago during a rare free moment during prospect camp. They had stolen ten minutes of sitting on a bench and watching the birds, taking a break from being measured and learning about leadership through warrior metaphors._ _

__He texts Matt a picture of the silent fountain with the words, “Honestly, there’s no place I would rather be.”_ _

__Matt sends back, “I know what you mean.”_ _

__#_ _

__They do win over the Blue Jackets. It is not the decisive victory they had hoped for, but a W is a W. Marco feels that he played a better game. Not a great game, but a better one. He still has work to do, but there was improvement, and he can feel good about that._ _

__They don’t celebrate. They’re facing another, more challenging opponent in less than twenty four hours. All anyone wants to do is cool down, eat a good meal, and get a good night’s sleep, taking all the necessary steps to getting another W._ _

__They can win against Chicago. They can be the team that breaks the Blackhawks’ unbeaten record. Marco does believe that this could happen. He isn’t optimistic, but he knows it is a possibility._ _

__He wants to win against Chicago. He wants to play a better game, give 110%, leave it all on the ice. Someday he would like to play hockey in Minnesota up to the start of summer, through May, into June. This probably won’t happen this year, but that’s where he wants to get to, eventually._ _

__This can’t be accomplished through the power of positive thinking. It will happen because of hard work and good luck. Thinking positively can’t hurt. At least it’s a place to start._ _

**Author's Note:**

> if you hadn't heard, THEY BEAT CHICAGO!!! I had a class, so I didn't see it, but it brought me much joy. Now if only they could be that awesome consistently. : (((((


End file.
